It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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