I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
