you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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