if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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