Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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