he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
