oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
