Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
