dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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