ya dads aren't the best wingmen
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
this will be a night to untag.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
