its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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