you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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