I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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