Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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