shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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