You're so nebulous sometimes
oh god the rape fog is back!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
