Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
