after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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