all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
