i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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