try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
