You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is that a dick in a sweater?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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