he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
