Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
