Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
