I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
