i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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