that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all