Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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