Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
