she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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