girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She bit a glass in half.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
