It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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