Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
