now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
