yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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