things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize