If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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