Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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