I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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