It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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