The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
