ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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