If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
