idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
