apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize