I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
