hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins