..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.