I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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