I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff