the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background