Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit