Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How does it feel to date your dad?