He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
