the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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