i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
