Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

(617): View more from Massachusetts

What? You're not speaking real words.

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(423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go

Replies (30) Good night (1101) Bad night (2782)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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(828): Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy. (1-828): Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid. http://tfl.nu/eif0

Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (3669)
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(804): View more from Virginia

If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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(804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun

Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (3688)
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(971): View more from Oregon

you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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(971): you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything? http://tfl.nu/ldjb

Replies (25) Good night (5458) Bad night (936)
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(317): View more from Indiana

sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

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(317): sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru". http://tfl.nu/gnr7

Replies (26) Good night (1336) Bad night (6135)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.

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(202): Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death. http://tfl.nu/mvsk

Replies (12) Good night (1176) Bad night (5120)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

suggestion: become a stripper.

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(774): just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed. (508): suggestion: become a stripper. http://tfl.nu/xaou

Replies (22) Good night (4743) Bad night (1081)
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(530): View more from California

before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

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(530): before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake http://tfl.nu/dlo4

Replies (15) Good night (2274) Bad night (5142)
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(636): View more from Missouri

You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.

(847): View more from Illinois

What did I say?

(636): View more from Missouri

Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,

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(636): You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why. (847): What did I say? (636): Don't ask me questions while I have an erection, http://tfl.nu/e9w1

Replies (11) Good night (7998) Bad night (1315)
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(206): View more from Washington

Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

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(206): Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence. http://tfl.nu/f8os

Replies (10) Good night (2610) Bad night (1044)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

(785): View more from Kansas

When were you at my house?

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(913): I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home. (785): When were you at my house? http://tfl.nu/k6cm

Replies (5) Good night (3049) Bad night (917)
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(512): View more from Texas

She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.

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(512): She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on. http://tfl.nu/lja4

Replies (17) Good night (858) Bad night (1367)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported

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(412): I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported http://tfl.nu/r23v

Replies (8) Good night (851) Bad night (471)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

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(843): I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow. http://tfl.nu/m6rb

Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (367)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.

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(330): I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life. http://tfl.nu/iw6t

Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (380)

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