Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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  (202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i
  Replies (27) Good night (1562) Bad night (603)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

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  (732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7
  Replies (97) Good night (1053) Bad night (2631)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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  (704): I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober http://tfl.nu/te1z
  Replies (29) Good night (3569) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (669): View more from California

  sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall

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  (669): sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall http://tfl.nu/w8x8
  Replies (24) Good night (1417) Bad night (4822)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.

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  (404): Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating. http://tfl.nu/1th0
  Replies (23) Good night (6075) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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  (585): you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish http://tfl.nu/f18y
  Replies (17) Good night (8534) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5227) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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  (214): Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time. http://tfl.nu/18ab
  Replies (19) Good night (2473) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7

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  (330): Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7 http://tfl.nu/w1wq
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.

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  (541): No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure. http://tfl.nu/g7wu
  Replies (5) Good night (2280) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.

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  (281): Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice. http://tfl.nu/w31k
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

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  (224): I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk. http://tfl.nu/qq27
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here

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  (860): Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here http://tfl.nu/roow
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (338)

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