hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)