im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.