I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
vagina is talking i cant
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
