Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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