My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
