Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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