you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize